It's Such A Beautiful Day

It's Such A Beautiful Day

This morning, I saw some children waiting for the school bus.

It is such a beautiful morning and the children look so happy. It makes me pause for a moment and remember a time in my life, when I was a child and I waited for the school bus on a morning just like this. The sun peeking up over the horizon, the smell of spring in the air, the anticipation of summer, the wonderful feeling that after school I would be outside with my friends with the rest of the day to do whatever I wanted.

The innocence of children is quickly corrupted by the world and at some point in time we all lose the child that lived inside us. Today as I watch the children waiting for the bus it occurs to me that my child inside hasn't really died and that this makes me different; this is what makes me rebellious and unusual.

When you look at the world through the eyes of a child as an adult it makes for an odd porridge, a strange concoction of feelings and emotions. The child struggles with the man - sometimes the child wins, and sometimes the man wins.

I never really feel part of anything because some medical experts would say I'm "conflicted".

I always feel an outcast when I'm in a group of adults. Looking at these school children waiting for the bus I feel part of me wanting to run over to them, grab a ball and bat and start choosing sides for a game of baseball in some old deserted lot.

I can hear the windows breaking as I smash a home run over the street and into Mrs. Maloney's house across the street. We all run away in fear that we will be discovered but it isn't a bad fear - for it was just us, a bunch of kids having an innocent game of baseball on one of the first warm days of spring.

My dad will make me pay for that window if I'm found out. My friends though, true and loyal, won't rat me out. I'm safe as long as Mrs. Maloney didn't see us running away.

The children are smiling and laughing, I can hear the giggles - such sweet music to my ears. It touches my heart and I want to linger and watch them get aboard the school bus - but I cannot. I don't have time. The man inside me has things to do and places to go - and too much on his agenda to waste time on this beautiful spring morning contemplating innocence lost.

As I drive away I think that we're all children of the universe. We're all specks of starlight, flickering for a millisecond in the cosmic ocean of time - as meaningless and meaningful as anything and everything else.

It's been a good morning. Spring is in the air and hope is all around.

Spring, more than any other season is a time for love, dreams and hope - and this spring is no different.

It's such a beautiful day.

I remember long ago
Snowmen standing in the snow;
And drifting silent frozen flakes
Fell on the ground below.

I remember blazing stars
And looking up and finding Mars.
And seeing wonder in the sky
As silent castles drifted by.

I remember memories;
The soft and gentle summer breeze;
The feelings all remain inside
But I don't remember where they hide.

I wonder where that child went
The one so happy and content?
Could it really truly be
I've lost the child inside of me?

Today I'll brush myself aside
And try to find that child inside.
I'll make the world a better place
By putting on a child's face.

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