Our Little Rant by Eightball & Thundercloud
First published in InfoAve Premium Issue #137 June 2, 2006
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The Internet - It's a good
thing!
I know that sometimes I get a little verbose when it comes to
badware, spyware and adware companies taking advantage of innocent
people and their private property (i.e. their computers). And, it's true
that these nefarious programs and bundles are a nuisance. But, they're
not going to foreclose on your house, cost you zillions of dollars in
medical bills, take your first born from you, or cause anything
personally catastrophic. But, sometimes you would gather that from some
of the things we write. Eh? (How's my Canadian?)
No doubt adware/spyware/badware, Trojans, rootkits (you know, the pig
muzzle), viruses, worms, spam, pornography, phishing and keyloggers are
all bad things about the Internet. Some of them can be financially
destructive - especially keyloggers and phishing. The other stuff is
just annoying and might cause you a lot of inconvenience.
Spyware/adware/badware can cause your computer to run like a handicapped
turtle slogging through a molasses bog. And, that's no fun, for sure.
But the Internet, more than anything else, mirrors the real world. There
are rip-offs in the real world. There are scams, deceitful people,
murderers, rapists, con artists, pedophiles, superficial people, mean
people, insincere people - ah! you know what I mean. The real world is
full of bad things. But it's still a pretty nice place. In spite of the
bad stuff in the real world, most of us don't want to consider the
alternative to living. We each find our niche and live in it, for the
most part happily - or at least not unhappily.
So today, I'm going to shine a light on the good things about the
Internet. And there are a lot more good things than bad things.
Older folks (OK 'Senior Citizens' - although I don't like the term) who
twenty years ago would have been stuck spending their later years
sitting in broken-down easy chairs, watching re-runs of "The Brady
Bunch" and "Bonanza" ad nauseum, are now spending time on the Internet:
chatting with friends (both old and new), corresponding instantly by
email, learning new computer skills, and gathering new information. In
short, they're having fun. The Internet has opened a whole new world to
our older citizens who otherwise would, because of age, have to be
content with watching TV as their primary source of entertainment.
Before you television-lovers start flaming me, let me say this:
Television has its place. However, when I was growing up we had only a
few channels and there was always something good on (or so it seemed).
Now I get over two hundred channels and sometimes, like last night,
there was nothing good to watch. Quantity often dilutes quality and
that's what is happening to television today. If we were stuck with TV
as our main source of entertainment, we'd be forced, sometimes, to
choose between watching a scantily clad young man or woman ripping out a
window and installing a new one, or watching Bobby Flay cook hamburgers.
Not that Bobby Flay isn't a good cook or anything, but how many times
can you watch a man grilling?
And, young people, particularly school-aged children, can do and see
things I only dreamed of doing and seeing when I was a kid. I remember
being in school and having to right "term papers" and the subjects the
teachers chose for us to write about were always the most uninteresting,
boring, ridiculous subjects. At least to me. I hated to do most of them.
It meant trudging to the town library, thumbing through encyclopedias,
old musty books (that no one had ever checked out in over 200 years),
old newspapers, old magazines, etc.. Then having to have a pad of paper
and a pencil with me and write down all the stuff that was pertinent to
my term paper.
Basically, and I'll be honest here, what I used to do was find an
article in an encyclopedia, copy it word-for-word, and then use whatever
creativity I might have had to reword it so as to avoid accusations of
plagiary - and getting an "F" on the paper. And, just in case you're
wondering, I was always successful I was never accused of plagiarism. I
did get "F's" sometimes. Especially anytime Geoffrey Chaucer's The
Canterbury Tales was involved. I made a promise to myself in high
school that I'd never ever read that discombobulated mass of twisted
medieval English. And I've kept that promise. To this day, I have never
read it. Not in all my years in high school or college and not since.
I've never even been tempted. Funny thing: I did receive one
passing grade with something I wrote (for a test) in connection with
The Canterbury Tales. And it was only because my paper was highly
imaginative (and totally inaccurate). That's another story - for another
rant someday. Maybe.
Kids today that are saddled with that albatross known as The
Canterbury Tales can go online and probably read the darn thing in
plain English (or plain Spanish, plain Dutch, plain Italian, plain
Russian, or plane geometry :-) ). I say "probably" because I don't know
this for sure. See, I promised myself I'd never read it. I am not going
to break that promise at this point in my life -especially not just so I
can write this "rant". But, try it. See if you can find Geoffrey
Chaucer's
The Canterbury Tales in plain old whatever-language-you-speak. I
bet you can. And, If you can trudge through it, more power to you;
you're a better person than I! I'm sure you could even find
someone else to give you a test on it. Don't ask my former teachers
though. Most of them are dead; and the ones that are still alive are not
coherent. That's not to say that they were coherent when they were my
teachers either. Boy, that felt good, I've always wanted to get back a
few of my teachers - especially English Literature teachers/professors
who tried in vain to get me to slog through The Canterbury Tales.
Oh, if this article has piqued your interest in The Canterbury Tales
- don't read the part of it called "The Wife Of Bath". I hear it's
rather risqué and pornographic in nature. Hey! I didn't read it! I am
just warning you! I just heard it was pretty bad. If you read it, don't
blame me. I'm innocent. Honest!
(Forgive me. I think I'm making this rant an exercise in pleonasm.)
Seriously, the Internet really is vast source of information,
entertainment, learning, and fun. Despite the miscreants and vandals
that prowl around in cyberspace, despite the adware, spyware, malware,
trojans, viruses, spam, worms, and phishing; the Internet, like the real
world it mirrors, is a wondrous thing.
Email brings folks closer together. How
many times, before the Internet came along, did you write letters? About
as much as I did? Once in a blue moon? And, search engines, like Google,
MSN, Yahoo, and others put information at our fingertips. If there's
anything you want to know and you still don't know it, it's your fault.
Whatever knowledge or information you seek is only a couple of clicks
away.
The Internet has something for people of all ages and people from all
walks of life. The high-rollers can get instant stock quotes and buy and
sell stocks in a blink of an eye. Jilted lovers can find solace in
reading about others failed relationships on love-lost forums (really!).
You can read the writings Shakespeare, Descartes, Einstein, Voltaire,
Grisham, Stephen King, even (cough!) Geoffrey Chaucer -any time you
want. You can find recipes for "baked Alaska", "Haricots
Verts al'anglaise" or anything you like. You can learn to redecorate you
home, build a boat, buy a car, get insurance, read the classics, read
newspapers from around the world, get expert health advice, and keep up
with your favorite hobby. You can plan a trip, buy airline tickets and
reserve your seat assignment, book a cruise, view movies of favorite
vacation destinations, even see pictures of hotel rooms - all without
leaving your home.
New parents can get instant help and advice; and learn from other new
parents.
Indeed, with the Internet at your fingertips, you can learn a new
language, meet new friends, travel across the universe, take a virtual
trip to Tahiti, learn about the mating habits of the North African Woody
Loon, sail the seven seas, correspond with friends, tell companies what
you think (write Smuckers and Coca Cola and tell them to get HFCS out of
their products!), do research, play games, watch movies, and yes, even
watch TV. Did I mention you can read Geoffrey Chaucer's
The Canterbury Tales too? And it's all available to you without
leaving your home. Instantly.
Naturally the bad things about the Internet get the most press coverage.
The press loves the bad stuff. Sensationalism sells newspapers and
magazine. I guess people would rather read about a mass murderer in
Arkansas than about a kind wealthy gentleman in Omaha who built a five
million-dollar recreation facility for the youth in his town. (And, yes,
we're guilty of pointing out the bad stuff a lot too.)
Today, however, we wanted to point out and highlight the good things
about the Internet. Because when you add it all up, the good things
about Internet far outweigh the bad things. The Internet mirrors the
real world. In the "real world" you can focus and fret about the
insanity of war, crime, man's inhumanity to man, and all the other
detritus the fouls the earth and humanity; or you can enjoy the wonder
and the beauty of a sunset over a quiet bay, on a still and silent
summer evening. Or look up on a clear and dark winter night and marvel
at the glorious majesty of the vast canopy of stars twinkling eternally.
Next time you hear someone complaining about the trash on the Internet
you'll know what to tell them. If you look for only the bad in anyone or
anything, in real life or the Internet, I guarantee you'll find what
you're looking for.
The Internet is not a perfect place anymore
than the real world is.Look for the good things in people, in life, and
on the Internet and I'm sure you'll find them.
The Internet - It's a good thing! And it's
a good thing it is here to stay!
Tell us what you think
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