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Rachel Ray
Rachael Ray and the Donut Scandal

Boy! I used to love Rachael Ray until she got married.

I used to watch her every Friday evening and gape in awe as she'd tell me all about the cheapest places to eat in Lower Slobovia, Croatia, Kevin's Furnace, Cider Creek, and so forth. And, yummy! Her recipes (uh huh) made me drool.

I don't watch her anymore. She apparently was cheating on me - or else how could she have met somebody and gotten married?

It's a good thing she married someone else though. Now I hear she's a terrorist making TV ads for a terrorist company operating under the name of Dunkin Donuts.

I would have never guessed that Dunkin Donuts was a front for Islamic terrorists, but apparently - at least according to Fox News and the right-wing blogosphere - my dear Rachael was pitching more then latte' and donuts in a recent TV commercial.

Rachael, how could you?

I used to think you were the all-American woman - wholesome and pure. You not only looked good but you could cook! What man wouldn't have given his red Corvette for a lady like you?

Who knew that those nasty Islamic jihadists had subverted you? Who knew a lady like you would be promoting terrorism? Certainly not me. I really thought you were swell. You did break my heart when you got married - but I got over that. But you being a terrorist? I don't think I can swallow that - forgive the pun.

Dunkin Donuts a front for Islamic jihadists? That's even harder to believe. We all know about cops and donuts. I have to give those Muslim fundamentalists credit for knowing how to get the police on their side. Brilliant!

How did they know cops can't resist donuts? They must have studied American culture from the inside. I really doubt that American cops broadcast to the world that they can't resist a donut shop.

If there's anyone reading this who doesn't know about Rachael Ray and Dunkin Donuts (is there really anyone who doesn't know about this?) let me bring you up to speed.

Michelle Malkin

Recently, Michelle Malkin a conservative syndicated columnist said: "The keffiyeh, for the clueless, is the traditional scarf of Arab men that has come to symbolize murderous Palestinian jihad. Popularized by Yasser Arafat and a regular adornment of Muslim terrorists appearing in beheading and hostage-taking videos, the apparel has been mainstreamed by both ignorant (and not so ignorant) fashion designers, celebrities and left-wing icons," Malkin also claims to be a fan of Dunkin' Donuts - but I guess not of Rachael Ray? Is she jealous or what? I sure never wanted to marry Michelle Malkin!

I digress - You know the more I look at that picture of Michelle Malkin the more it looks like she's wearing the same jacket that Chairman Mao used to wear when he was still alive! A commie disguised as a right-wing, conservative columnist? How creative...

At first Dunkin Donuts denied there was any relationship between the black and white scarf worn by Rachael Ray and a keffiyeh. But, under relentless bashing from Fox News, Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, and right-wing bloggers, Dunkin Donuts caved in and pulled the ad. Was this an admission by Dunkin Donuts and Rachael Ray that they were cahoots with Islamic terrorists?

Let this serve as a warning. Danger lurks everywhere. Pay attention to your neighbors. If they wear funny-looking scarves, handkerchiefs on their head or  bring home bags of stuff from Dunkin Donuts - or (Heaven forbid) watch Rachael Ray -  you need to turn them in to the authorities before they cause you great harm.

You can't trust anyone anymore, you know - except Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Michelle Malkin, Fox News and Anne Coulter. We can only hope that one of them doesn't wear any suspicious clothing or get caught eating Dunkin Donuts. (But, Michelle, I really wonder if you're a Maoist - that jacket of yours looks mighty suspicious. Where did you get it if you don't mind my asking?)

The next time you're in Wal-mart, Borders, or any other place they sell Rachael Ray books, if you see someone actually buying her books, be sure to follow them to their car and get their license plate number. But, don't call the cops - they're in cahoots with Dunkin Donuts, remember!  Call the FBI or better yet call Homeland Security. Anyone who buys a Rachael Ray book is probably a gourmet terrorist.

What is going on in America anyway? The Right hates the Left. Everyone is a terrorist, a bigot, or a sexist, or worse it seems. No shades of gray - everything is black and white (No, no - not the scarf!).

There is no middle ground anymore; there is no moderation.

If I ran Dunkin Donuts I would not have caved into this foolishness. On the contrary - I would have had a special and advertised it nationally - "Buy two donuts and two coffees and get a free Rachael Ray scarf".

I would have called it the black-and-white special -no police pun intended.

Rachael, I still love ya, even if you did get married without giving me a chance.  I really do like your scarf!

Did you get that thing from Yasser Arafat?

You didn't make him some of your famous apple-baked pork chops did you?

Reader comments:

As in everything else there is a middle way in everything. Rachael made a faux pas by wearing this scarf, which is, like it or not a symbol for Arab terrorists. Just like if she had worn a brooch in the shape of a Swastika! Yet originally the Swastika is a Symbol of Hinduism. Dunkun Donuts did well to take the ad off the market. Having said all that, the reaction is way out of proportion!! So there had been a faux pas, it was corrected, and move on to the next scandal. No point in dwelling about it. Don't you people have better things to do?? How about finally throwing Damyanyuk out of the country, now that's a more interesting issue.Take care and stay safe.



Well this rant sure has highlighted the ridiculousness that has become the norm in our world since 9-11.The long and short of it is that everyone is suspicious of everyone. The sad part is that even when the ridiculousness is highlighted people still become offended. I say good on you .It is a great rant. Keep up the good work!! I got a chuckle out of it

Bonnie H.


You always have to be so careful of what type of satirical humor/comments you put out there. There is always some ‘ARROGANT’, ‘IGNORANT’, ‘CHARACTER’ out there that thinks they are so smart and in tune with things, but they just don’t get it. If they drop your newsletter, they will just become more ignorant but we will be better off.

Mary from Minneapolis


You made my day! When is this ridiculous interpretation of everything we say and do going to stop....with all that's going on in the world surely they can find something better than this to harp on.....you go guy, great job!



Racist rant? Where do all these people hide their heads?? Did you really read this or did you just skim through and decide on the "racist rant" issue??? I thought it was a clever, well thought out, tongue in cheek piece on something that appeared on the news and was so totally "un-news worthy" it wasn't funny. I guess they were having a slow day that day. I, for one, thought it was GREAT!! I also think that the word "racism" is greatly abused for everything these days. Let's just go back to the basics and try to be more tolerant of people's differences.

I think you did a great job TC.

Jolande B


I never read such a bunch of BS in my life. Rachael Ray is no more a terrorist than I can fly a 747. Yeah, Rachael Ray is HOT but I think Giada is Hotter still.

You need to stick to stuff you know a little something about such as stationery, Emoticons, Smiley's etc. And leave the terrorists to the FBI, the NSA and the military.

Daryl W.


I am thoroughly disgusted that you would print such a racist rant. As of today I will unsubscribe to your newsletter and will urge friends and relatives to do likewise.

This kind of bull**** does nothing to make this world a safer or better place . Some idiot will read this rant and decide it is quite okay to go out and start shooting. You aught to be ashamed.

M. R.


I think you are all nuts if you think Rachel Rays scarf was anything more than a designer scarf that her producer thought looked nice!! Boo on Rush Limbaugh and his making everybody a crook but Himself!

Rose C.


Stick to stationary..we get enough ranting about us from the idiots on the left...



Personally, I got a kick out of your rant. and I don't think you have taken on the politically correct, or out reached your place in this cyber world.  It's neat to see my thoughts put into words. I'm too old now to care what the silly blatherers say.

Diane in SC



It's spelled Rachael, not Rachel.


Shawn & Eileen


Be careful...be very careful lest IA become a political blog...baited by yourself. Don't let Rachael's chippying on you harden your heart to what's fair and balanced. Everyone loves Rachael. Michelle's report about the scarf was informational. Her comment about being sensitive to the nuances of propaganda seemed a bit exteme but so was yours about Mao. Michelle has more b**** and brains than most news commentators. Both she and Rachael are deservedly respected and spunky young ladies.

 /s/ Granny Char


Sorry, but that rant was a little skewed. Fox News thought the whole thing was ridiculous and far fetched. I watched the story on Fox News and watched more than one anchor roll their eyes at the allegation. Heck, even Bill O'Reilly said it was ridiculous and had two guests on that agreed it was silly. Not quite as you put it, "I would have never guessed that Dunkin Donuts was a front for Islamic terrorists, but apparently - at least according to Fox News and the right-wing blogosphere - my dear Rachael was pitching more then latte' and donuts in a recent TV commercial. "

I understand what Michelle Malkin was trying to say, It wasn't about Rachael Ray personally, but it was a goofy thing to even bring up. By the way, I don't agree with Ms. Malkin and I don't listen to Rush so I can't opine on what he may have said on the subject.

Ranting is fine, but please don't do what the far left and right does and skew the facts. Extremism in anything is bad.

Diane K
North Carolina


The article you printed about Rachael Ray and the Donut Scandal is a bunch of crap! I can't believe that with your integrity that you would stoop so low that you would even think about printing this.

That scarf Rachael Ray wore was her costume designer's idea and nothing more. So now what? Should we picture him walking around a turban and carrying a M-16? The reason Duncan Donut's pulled the commercial is so they wouldn't offend anyone, since being politically correct is such an issue these days. I wouldn't be surprised if someone got sued over this one. Perhaps you should stick to what you know best, computers...



Is this BS or is it for real?



I fell in love with Rachael Ray when I first saw her on the Food Network. She was and is so vibrant and jubilant. She loves food, she loves cooking, her thoughts are all around food. She's so full of life and loves every minute of it. How she does three shows for the Food Network and the NBC daytime show and still have time for her husband and family I can't figure out. Nothing seems to faze her, she just keeps plugging along and does a terrific job with all of her jobs.

When I first saw the hype about Rachael Ray on Fox News I thought "How ridiculous. It's just a scarf!!" I can just hear Rachael now defending her actions. (What actions? She was just wearing a scarf.) It is all perfectly innocent on her part. My daughter and I don't think it looks like the same type of scarf that Yasser Arafat wore at all. All this hype is really going overboard. Can we do nothing any more without being tagged as a terrorist? Is nothing safe or sacred any more? What, in Heavens name, is this country coming to?

Dunkin' Donuts was so remiss in removing the ad. I agree with you, they should have done a special advertisement offering a free Rachael Ray scarf. Their business would have gone berserk. After watching The Rachael Ray Show - daytime - I know that all the women in America would have clamored to have a Rachael Ray scarf. She may just get back at Dunkin' Donuts by offering the scarf on her show. I love Rachael Ray and I still watch her daytime show (it's now in repeats for the summer so will watch the new season in Sept.)




I signed up for your news letter to learn more about computer tips and tricks, so perhaps you should consider not offering your political opinions and stick to what you know, which is computer tips and tricks.

Just an observation,


I agree, that was as foolish as some of the other things the news makes a big deal of.
People can't say or do anything anymore without 'news'casters make something out of it. Guess they don't have any real news to talk about. The news sure isn't what it used to be.



I think Martha Stewart is behind it.

"America 76"


Your blog, once again, is dead on...thank you for putting my feelings into words...and America76, I love your comment.

Hugs, Nance


This is a hoot....if I remember right, I think I have a table cloth, that belonged to my Mother, with this same design.

~ Evie



Imagine a secret yearning for Rachael Ray? Rachael is a sweet lady and I don't want to give my opinion of Michelle or of Faux and Friends. I like her scarf! I was saddened by Dunkin Donuts action.

I do hope that eventually the sane among us will speak up and out as loud as the nut cases do.

Thank you,



The inmates are running the asylum! Thanks for putting my thoughts into words! You are "da man".



Thank you for bringing this to our attention, I heard this story on TV and thought that we should voice our objections to such silly actions, I didn't... you did, thank you! Lorraine


I really like both Martha Stewart and Rachael Ray because they worked hard for what they have, it wasn't handed to them on a silver platter. I personally can not stand Rush Limbaugh and before i go on a tirade, I think I will go see if Martha sells any sheets with same colors n pattern. This is best blog so far TC. Right on!!

Did u send it to Malkin and Fox?? I would.



Hi TC, hilarious blog on Rachael Ray. I enjoyed reading it! Thanks for sharing. Carol


Beautiful, just beautiful, you've got to be kidding me, this stuff reminds me of the "black list" back in the commie days. Haven't we learned our lesson yet? I love her scarf!!

Thank you for addressing this stupid stuff!



I just loved it!



"The keffiyeh, for the clueless, is the traditional scarf of Arab men that has come to symbolize murderous Palestinian jihad. Popularized by Yasser Arafat and a regular adornment of Muslim terrorists appearing in beheading and hostage-taking videos, the apparel has been mainstreamed by both ignorant (and not so ignorant) fashion designers, celebrities and left-wing icons,"

Oh My! It looks like a scarf my Granny and great Granny used to wear to keep the cold out of their chest......

I see a good Food Network Challenge here.



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