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Makes a great Christmas gift for anyone with a computer. Get more details here.

Offer is valid through Sunday, December 18, 2016.

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MERRY CHRISTMAS and THANKS to Brenda, Judy, Patricia, Rose, Thelma, Joyce and all of you who wrote to us this week. And thanks so much to our Cloudeight Direct Computer Care customers for the nice comments about the computer services you received from Cloudeight Direct Computer Care. We are so glad we've been able to help so many people from Australia and New Zealand to Europe and North America. If you need computer service we hope you'll let us help you! Happy Holidays & Merry Christmas!  Don't forget we're offering 3 computer repair keys for $99 right now!  And, we have a Christmas special on Thunderbird installation for just $25. Thank you all so much! Merry Christmas, TC & EB.

Phyllis continues to have problems with her Lock Screen images
In regards to the lock screen issue . I don't have in my settings: "Show Windows background picture on sign in screen". I have 2 options in mine. One says: Show lock Screen background picture on sign in screen. The other ones says : Get fun facts and more from Windows and Cortana on your lock screen. They are both on. So I started with the first one & shut it off. Restarted my laptop & windows photo showed up. So went back turned it on & shut off the 2nd one & restarted again. Same thing, the windows photo showed up again. Always the same photo too. I read in Microsoft forum where someone said to turn off theme sync. So I went into settings, my account, sync your settings & turned off the theme setting. Shut down again & restarted again right back to the windows photo. I can not get my photo to show up at all . It is set on picture too. My laptop is an ASUS . My husbands seems to be holding on the photo of his choice & all his settings are the same as mine as far as I can tell. Only thing different he did was to delete the photos he had in there & put in another one. I think my computer is possessed. This minor issue has me totally baffled.

Our answer
Hi Phyllis. You'll only see "Show fun facts ... "  if you have "Picture" or "Slideshow" selected. You won't see it if you have Spotlight selected. In my screen shot I had Spotlight selected, and the drop down menu showing "Picture" and "Slideshow". (I've included screen shots below to show you.)

Here is what Microsoft says about personalizing your lock screen.

You may also want to try a free app from the Windows store called "Chameleon" which supposedly gives you a lot more control of your desktop wallpaper, Lock Screen images, etc. We have not tested this app, but neither have not heard anything negative about it. You can get it at:

https://www.microsoft.com/en-us/store/p/chameleon/9wzdncrfjb22 

If even after following all the above, you still can't get what you want, you may need to do a Windows 10 Reset (while keeping your personal files). However, this seems like using a shotgun to kill a fly, unless Lock Screen images are really important to you. If they are that important to you, then a reset should make your Windows 10 computer work they way it's supposed to.



Kathleen wants a reprise on our article about ScanGuard
A short time ago you sent info about ScanGuard. I kept the email but I must have put in the wash machine. I can not find it anywhere. Would you please send info again?
Thank You. K

Our answer
Hi Kathleen. ScanGuard is just another in a long line of one-click fix programs. It's another snake oil software program that promises miracles, but doesn't deliver anything except maybe the placebo effect.

Here's our article on ScanGuard:

ScanGuard: Another Day, Another Miracle PC Program

“We can clean up, speed up, and protect your computer automatically.” “We can make your computer run like new with just two clicks.” “We can protect and speed up your computer with one click.”

There doesn’t seem to be any end to the snake oil flowing from the Web. In the past few weeks, thanks to a big advertising budget, and a lot of ads on Facebook, one of these one-click wonders has caught the attention of many of our readers, some of them have written to us to ask if it this one-click wonder is any good.

Recently….Many tech sites and newspapers/magazines say their Internet investigator, or tech writer recommends it. They make the ads look like breaking news.

“PC Owners Urged to Do This Today!

If you live in the U.S and have a windows computer that is older than 6 months old, or just not running how you would like it, then this may be the most exciting article you ever read. Thousands of people across the U.S are rushing to get their hands on the latest system that is speeding up computers and protecting them from malware in minutes…” (or it will say if you live in Australia, or UK, etc. as it is country specific).

But it is nothing more than the same old snake oil we’ve all heard a thousand times. And the snake oil currently making the rounds is “Scanguard”

First, let’s look at some of the claims Scanguard makes (these claims come from the Scanguard Web site).

Boost Memory
Is your device clogged up with duplicate files wasting space? Our File Manager will help locate and remove any file with duplicate characteristics in just a few clicks.

Enhance Performance
Over time your computer will naturally slow down, we help identify specific errors and programs which impact performance to get you back in the game.

Firewall*
We understand that privacy is important which is why we prevent unauthorized access to your private data with our Two-Way Firewall.

Browsing Performance
Let us assist in improving your internet browsing speed. We will improve performance in a matter of seconds by managing unwanted caching and old history.

Anti Virus
Our full system scan will locate, quarantine and eliminate malware, trojans and more insuring you are protected against harmful viruses..."

Let’s go over each of these claims, briefly. Yes, I know that’s hard to fathom, but we are going to try to be brief..

The first claim is that they can boost your memory by removing duplicate files? RAM is your computer’s memory. It’s stands for Random Access Memory. The more RAM your computer has, the more memory it has, removing duplicate files has nothing to with RAM.

The next claim is that your computer slows down with age. I think they have your computer confused with us. We slow down with age, but our computers do not necessarily slow down with age. But the troubling part is “we help identify specific errors and programs that impact performance to get you back in the game”. That’s beautifully written sophistry. What errors? What programs? Give us an example. And what do they mean by back in the game? At least that’s better than “make your computer run like new”. You can never come back to them and tell them they didn’t put you back in the game. Right? What the heck does “back in the game” mean? It’s supposed to make you think “run like new”, without saying it, since they have to know it’s not true.

There's a lot more... If you're interested in reading our entire article on ScanGuard, please visit this page.

Cloudeight Direct Computer Care Repair Key - You save $26 !

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Visit this page for  more information and/or purchase your Cloudeight Direct Computer Care repair key for just $39. You save $26!

Offer is valid through Sunday, December 18, 2016.

 

 

Thunderbird Email Program Installed by Cloudeight - Christmas Special

Our Thunderbird Email Set-up Service includes:

• Installing Thunderbird on one computer
• Setting up your email accounts in Thunderbird (up to 3 accounts) and configuring them correctly.
• All accounts will be set up as IMAP accounts so all mail messages and folders on your mail server(s) are displayed in Thunderbird.
• Configure font, images, privacy and other settings so that Thunderbird works more like the email program(s) you're used to using.
• We will include Thunderbird email tips & tricks to help you get the most out of your new Thunderbird email program.
• If you want to use Cloudeight Email Stationery, we will set this up for you, and include a stationery collection too!
• Was $39 - CHRISTMAS SPECIAL PRICE - JUST $25!
• Get more information or buy yours now.

Sale price good for a limited time only.

'Tis the Season for Online Computer Support Scams
This tip is for everyone with Windows PC

Every week, we get several emails from people who have fallen for a computer repair scam. They have given their credit card information and access to their computers to criminals — and it usually always starts with a phone call. It goes like this. The phone call comes unexpectedly, out of the blue, the computer user is informed that their computer is infected with something and/or is sending and spreading malware or viruses and infecting other computers. Of course the caller has the cure — the fix — the solution.

Sadly, many people fall for this and give access to their computers to these scammers who then connect to the customer’s computer and proceed to “”fix” it. But they don’t fix it. Many times they install worthless software, or software anyone can get free, or worse, they install malware to steal your passwords and usernames, and thus access to your bank accounts and other highly sensitive and personal information. Users give the criminals their credit card information, and in the best case scenario, they are charged a few hundred dollars — in the word case, their card numbers are stolen and used to make purchases and/or steal identities.

We warn you again — never ever give ANY information to anyone who calls you out of the blue, no matter who they say they represent. One of the biggest scams going is the one where the caller identifies himself or herself as a Microsoft employee telling you that your Windows computer is infected with malware and that your computer is infecting other computers on the Internet. If you have caller ID their number may show that their are calling from a Microsoft number — but they’re not. It’s really easy to spoof caller ID.

Remember this: No legitimate company is going to call you out of the blue and tell you that your computer is infected. NONE. NADA. ZERO. If you get a call from someone claiming to be from Microsoft or some other legitimate sounding company, hang up. Do not give them access to your computer. Do not give them your credit card number. Do not give them any password.

We have published this advice before, yet every week we get several people who come to us for help after falling for a scam. And we help them by removing all the malware installed by the scammers, and fixing things these scammers intentionally broke (so they can come back again and get more money from you).

So if you remember nothing else from this tip, remember this:

If you get a call from anyone claiming to be from Microsoft or some other legitimate sounding company — or someone who tosses around complex computer terms and claims he or she can fix your computer — hang up. Hang up the phone and do not give them any information. none. nada. zero. If they continue to call after this report them to your phone company and/or your local authorities. The important thing is: Never give your information to anyone who calls you out of the blue telling you that you have problems with your computer. Never give access to your computer to anyone who calls out of the blue and warns you that your computer is infected. It’s always a scam – always.

And if you are one who has already fallen for this scam, call your credit card company right away and tell them what happened. Tell them you were scammed and have the charges removed from your credit card. You should be able to get charges made by scam companies removed from your credit card. You can, if you wish, report it to your local authorities, although we doubt that it will do much good. Scammers are professional crooks and they’re are not going to operate under the same name or from the same location or use the same methods for very long. They’re going to move around, change names, and change schemes, and it’s very hard to catch up with them.

Here are some good information from the U.S. government (and we are not kidding!)

" …If You Get a Call

If you get a call from someone who claims to be a tech support person, hang up and call the company yourself on a phone number you know to be genuine. A caller who creates a sense of urgency or uses high-pressure tactics is probably a scam artist.

Keep these other tips in mind:

• Don’t give control of your computer to a third party who calls you out of the blue.
• Do not rely on caller ID alone to authenticate a caller. Criminals spoof caller ID numbers. They may appear to be calling from a legitimate company or a local number, when they’re not even in the same country as you.
• Online search results might not be the best way to find technical support or get a company’s contact information. Scammers sometimes place online ads to convince you to call them. They pay to boost their ranking in search results so their websites and phone numbers appear above those of legitimate companies. If you want tech support, look for a company’s contact information on their software package or on your receipt.
• Never provide your credit card or financial information to someone who calls and claims to be from tech support.
• If a caller pressures you to buy a computer security product or says there is a subscription fee associated with the call, hang up. If you’re concerned about your computer, call your security software company directly and ask for help.
• Never give your password on the phone. No legitimate organization calls you and asks for your password.
• Put your phone number on the National Do Not Call Registry, and then report illegal sales calls.

How to Spot a Refund Scam

If you paid for tech support services, and you later get a call about a refund, don’t give out any personal information, like your credit card or bank account number. The call is almost certainly another trick to take your money.

The refund scam works like this: Several months after the purchase, someone might call to ask if you were happy with the service. When you say you weren’t, the scammer offers a refund.

Or the caller may say that the company is going out of business and providing refunds for “warranties” and other services.

In either case, the scammers eventually ask for a bank or credit card account number. Or they ask you to create a Western Union account. They might even ask for remote access to your computer to help you fill out the necessary forms. But instead of putting money in your account, the scammers withdraw money from your account.

If you get a call like this, hang up, and report it at http://ftc.gov/complaint  …”

See we told you — the U.S. government has some good advice for you to follow no matter where you live. Don’t get scammed. We hate to see any of you being taken advantage of by charlatans and criminals. You can read more tips and info at http://www.consumer.ftc.gov/articles/0346-tech-support-scams  .

During the holiday season the number of scams increase. Don’t let a scammer ruin the holidays for you.



Lazy Wrist and Your New Laptop
Everyone with a laptop PC

Just in the last week, we have received a half-dozen email from readers who just got new laptops. So we thought, with Christmas just over a week away, now would be a great time to talk about Lazy Wrist again.
 
If you’ve finally decided your done with bulky desktop computers and you’ve switched to using a laptop (or you just got a new laptop as a gift), you’re probably using a mouse with it. Most of us who go from desktops to laptops, just don’t like the touchpads on laptops – we’re mouse-o-philes, it seems.

The #1 complaint we get from people who are new to laptop computers is:

“My cursor won’t stay put! I type something and it jumps up or down. I can barely type a sentence without the cursor jumping.”

Ah yes, it sounds familiar right? Is that you?

This is a very common problem is you’re using a mouse with a laptop. More than likely, your touchpad is still enabled, and your lazy wrist is brushing ever-so-slightly against the touchpad, and it’s just enough to move your cursor up and down or all around a page or an email you’re composing. It will drive you nuts.

Since every laptop is different, these instructions may be slightly different for each brand of computer. Dell, for example, has a feature that automatically turns off the touchpad when it detects a mouse is being used. It’s a very useful feature, but unfortunately, it’s turned off by default. You can turn it on by going to Control Panel, Hardware and Sound, Mouse — and you’ll find your mouse and touchpad settings there. If your computer does not have the option to automatically disable the touchpad when you plug in a mouse, just disable the touchpad all together…remember you can always turn it back on if you need it.
 


How to Change Your DNS Settings and Why You May Want to
Windows 7, Windows 8x and Windows 10

First let's discuss what DNS servers are. We will define DNS servers as simply as possible. However, you don't need to know what a DNS server is to use this tip, but you should have a basic understanding of DNS and what DNS servers do.

So, here's a pretty simple definition of DNS and DNS servers from Lifewire's "What is a DNS Server":

The Domain Name System (DNS) is a technology standard for managing names of public Web sites and other Internet domains. DNS technology allows you to type names into your Web browser like lifewire.com and your computer to automatically find that address on the Internet. A key element of the DNS is a worldwide collection of DNS servers.

A DNS server is any computer registered to join the Domain Name System.

A DNS server runs special-purpose networking software, features a public IP address, and contains a database of network names and addresses for other Internet hosts.

DNS Root Servers

DNS servers communicate with each other using private network protocols. All DNS servers are organized in a hierarchy. At the top level of the hierarchy, so-called root servers store a complete database of Internet domain names and their corresponding IP addresses...

In other words, when you type in https://www.microsoft.com/ you're actually typing a numerical address like 207.46.129.3 which is resolved by the DNS server  to the name you know and love... www.microsoft.com. Due to security issues, many sites will block attempts to directly reach the site by typing in its numerical address...but whoa! We're getting in way too deep.

Without DNS servers you're not going to get anywhere on the Internet. And if you have not changed your DNS settings, the first DNS server you'll use to get to the Internet and the Web sites you want to visit, is your Internet Service Provider's DNS server(s). However, you're not stuck using your ISP's DNS servers. You have options. The option we're going to show you today is to use Google's public DNS servers, which will let circumvent your ISP's DNS servers.

Lately, we have had a number of people who were unable to access certain sites at certain times. Sites would randomly be available. In at least two cases, while working with customers using our Cloudeight Direct Computer Care service,, we found that customers could not access Facebook. And one of them could not access Facebook, Twitter and other sites she liked.  In all of these cases, instead of the web sites loading, they got a DNS error.

Google's Public DNS servers are fast and secure.

So let's change our Internet adapter settings to use Google's Public DNS:

Step One: Go to Control Panel ---> Network & Sharing Center.

Step Two: In Network & Sharing Center click on "Change adapter settings" (it's on the left side).

Step Three: Right -click on your Wi-Fi or Ethernet Adapter and click on "Properties". (If you use both Ethernet and Wi-Fi, you'll have to both adapters, one at a time).



In the Properties dialog find "Internet Protocol Version 4 (TCP/IPv4), click it to highlight it, then click "Properties":



In the TCP/IPv4 properties dialog, tick the circle next to "Use the following DNS server addresses" and enter 8 8 8 8 next to preferred DNS server and 8 8 4 4 next to
"Alternate DNS server". Please note that you'll have to press the space bar after entering each number. Press OK when you're done.

 

After you press OK you'll be back to the Adapter Properties dialog. This time you'll need to click on "Internet Protocol 6 (TCP/IPv6)" to highlight it, then click "Properties".



In the TCP/IPv6 Properties dialog, tick the circle next to "Use the following DNS server addresses" and ...

Next to "Preferred DNS server" enter the following (you can copy & paste if you like):

2001:4860:4860::8888

Next to "Alternate DNS server" enter the following (copy & paste if you like):

2001:4860:4860::8844


Keep in mind those numbers must be exactly as shown. So, double -check before you click OK.

Now you're almost done. Open a command prompt (does not have to be an administrator command prompt) and type:

IPCONFIG /FLUSHDNS

and press Enter. If you typed the command correctly, you will see the confirmation as below: "Successfully flushed the DNS Resolver Cache". If you don't see that confirmation then you typed the command incorrectly. Makes sure you leave a space after IPCONFIG and before the slash.



And that's it. If you ever want to change back to your ISP's DNS servers, just got back to the IPv4 and IPv6 properties and tick the circle next to "Obtain DNS server address automatically.

You'll need to run the IPCONFIG /FLUSHDNS command again.

If all this seems like too much work, we can do this for you with our Cloudeight Direct Computer Care service.

Quick Windows 10 Power Tip
Windows 10

Go to your Windows 10 desktop ( if you're not there now you can get there quickly by pressing Windows Key + D). Now press the ALT + F4 keys. What do your bloodshot eyes behold? A Windows Shutdown (restart, switch user, log off, etc.) dialog that you've probably never seen before. At least EB and I have never seen it. We stumble on stuff like this while playing around with possible tips.

Anyway, when your on the Windows 10 desktop, press the ALT + F4 keys and you'll see this:

You can shut down, sign out, sleep (not you, your computer), switch user, or restart. All you have to do is ALT + F4 from the Windows 10 desktop.

Now you can look like a power user. Amaze your friends :-)

What to Do If You Can't Connect to the Internet After a Windows 10 Update
Windows 10

There are a lot of people who report having problems connecting to the Internet after a Windows 10 update. While we've not experienced any (yet!), we want you to be prepared just in case. The following information comes from Microsoft and it contains a lot of good advice, although, strangely, to access the Microsoft page, you'll need an Internet connection. So, our suggestion is to print the page, so you have the info in case you don't have an Internet connection.

Here, from Microsoft's website, are some tips you can use in case you lose your Internet connection after an update:

"...If you are experiencing issues connecting to the internet we recommend you restart your PC by going to Start, clicking the Power button, then choosing Restart (not Shut down).

If you’re having problems getting connected to a network and can’t connect to the Internet, here are some things you can try in Windows 10.

Things to try first

Try these things first to help you fix or narrow down the connection problem.

Restart your PC to see if that fixes your connection problem. To do that, select the Start button > Power button > Restart. (Make sure you select Restart, not Shut down.)

Check out Why can't I get online? https://support.microsoft.com/en-gb/help/17220 and try some of the basic troubleshooting steps mentioned there.

Generate a wireless network report. This report can help you diagnose the problem, or at least provide you with more information to give to others who might be able to help.

In the search box on the taskbar, type Command prompt, press and hold (or right-click) Command prompt, and then select Run as administrator > Yes.

At the command prompt, type

netsh wlan show wlanreport.

This creates an HTML file that you can open in your web browser from the location listed under the command prompt. For more info about the network report and how to analyze it, see Analyze the wireless network report in Fix Wi-Fi problems in Windows 10.

Make sure it’s not a problem with your cable modem or Internet service provider (ISP).
If it is, contact your ISP.

In the search box on the taskbar, type Command prompt, press and hold (or right-click) Command prompt, and then select Run as administrator > Yes.

At the command prompt, type

ipconfig

Look for the IP address listed next to Default gateway. Write down that address if you need to. For example: 192.168.1.1

At the prompt, type ping <DefaultGateway> and press Enter.

For example, type:

ping 192.168.1.1

and press Enter..."

To read the rest of this Microsoft article visit this page.

A couple tips from us: First, on Windows 10, you can access an Administrator Command Prompt by right-clicking the Start button and clicking "Command Prompt (Admin)". Or by pressing and holding down the Windows key and pressing the X key to open the "Power menu". From the "Power menu", click on "Command Prompt (Admin)"

Keep in mind, for some odd reason, Microsoft writes most of this as if you are connected tot the Internet, but obviously, if you're connected to the Internet, you don't need this information. Go figure.

Our advice? Go to this Microsoft page and PRINT the article and save it. Then, even if you can't get connected, you'll have the information you need to get connected.

Why do we have to explain stuff for Microsoft? :-)





Christmas Reflections

It seems like yesterday when we were celebrating Christmas and welcoming a new year. Now the ghost of Christmas past has taken last Christmas and we have all committed it to memory.

Some of us have happy memories and some of us have sad memories; the most unfortunate among us have no memories of last Christmas at all.

The new year is now the old year and we’re all getting ready to flip a calendar page and say goodbye to another year and look to the future with high hopes that the new year will bring us all health, happiness, and perhaps most of all: Peace. Peace in our personal lives and peace on Earth.

Christmas is a time for gathering together with our friends and families. Let no one forget why it is that we celebrate Christmas.

To me, besides those things, Christmas is a time for reflection.

I just re-read “A Christmas Carol” by Charles Dickens – for the umpteenth time. Every time I read it I take away a new feeling or a new thought. Today I spent thinking a lot about this passage from “A Christmas Carol” when Scrooge is visited by the Ghost of Christmas Present.

The Ghost of Christmas present opens his royal green robe and beneath it are two starving children with sunken eyes and for all the world looking as if they were on the doorstep of death.

Ghost of Christmas Present: “Look upon these!”

Ebenezer Scrooge: [Withdrawing in horror] “What are they?”

Ghost of Christmas Present: “They are your children! They are the children of all who walk the earth unseen! Their names are Ignorance and Want! Beware of them! For upon their brow is written the word “doom!” They spell the downfall of you and all who deny their existence!”

Ebenezer Scrooge: “Have they no refuge, no resource?”

Ghost of Christmas Present: [smiles, mocking him from an earlier conversation] “Are there no workhouses? Are there no prisons?”

Ebenezer Scrooge looking down at the children, “Cover them. I do not wish to see them.”

Ghost of Christmas Present: “I thought as much.”

( The Ghost of Christmas Present closes his robe to conceal the children.)

Ghost of Christmas Present: “They are hidden… but they live… oh, they live... "

This passage made me think of the children who won’t have a chance to have a Merry Christmas because their parents can’t afford to buy presents, or a tree; they can’t even afford to make this special day any different from the others.

Some of the greatest memories of my childhood are of Christmas,

Please read the rest of this essay here...

Here's your chance to get 3 Cloudeight Direct Computer Repair keys for just $99. You save $96.

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With our Cloudeight Direct Computer Care Christmas Special, you'll get 3 computer repair keys for $99. We'll never offer a lower price. Each key is good for one computer repair session. Keys never expire. They're good until you use them - It's like  having insurance for your computer. Prices will never be lower - you can't afford not to take advantage of this sale! Get more information here.

Makes a great Christmas gift for anyone with a computer. Get more details here.

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Cloudeight Direct Computer Care Repair Key - You save $26 !

Get a Cloudeight Direct Computer Repair Key at $26 dollars off regular price! Our regular price for a Cloudeight Direct Computer Care Repair key is $65 - and that's a great deal no matter how you look at it. But through Monday, December 18, 2016, we are reducing to just $39. For a limited time, you can get a Cloudeight Direct Computer Care repair key for just $39. Buy your Cloudeight Direct Computer Care key now for $39 and save it until you need it. Our Cloudeight Direct Computer Care repair keys never expire - they're good until you use them. Each key is valid for one computer repair session. We can help you with almost any Windows PC problem. We can clean and optimize your computer for best performance. We can wipe out serious malware & virus infections. Simply put -- we can fix your PC!  Here's your chance to save big on the best computer service you'll find anywhere.

Visit this page for  more information and/or purchase your Cloudeight Direct Computer Care repair key for just $39. You save $26!

Offer is valid through Sunday, December 18, 2016. 

 

Visit NORAD Tracks Santa.

Why do we have Christmas trees?

After doing some research, it's obvious to me that, to this point, no one really knew how this whole Christmas tree thing got started. It's not like someone picked up a pen and kept notes. But I did some digging, and I can now tell you the real story of Christmas trees.

Back in the pagan days, before the birth of Christ, people would get really crazy on the first day of winter and start jumping around and hooting and snorting and drinking barrels of rotten corn cob juice, which contained, among other contaminants, alcohol. These pre-Christian hooligan would get drunk and smoke rope and jump around. In other words they had a party. Like some people in our modern society, they needed an excuse to drink, act insanely, canoodle and carouse. They picked the shortest day of the year, also known as the winter solstice. (Modern folks use St. Patrick's Day and New Year's Eve for such foolishness.)

Anyway, after these old pagans sobered up, they realized that all their drinking and carousing didn't change anything, they still had months and months of cold, snow, ice, and dreary days to go before they could trot down to Walmart and buy vegetable & flower seeds with which to plant a colorful garden.

This realization made them woeful and crazy with hopelessness and doom. Then one winter solstice, a Neanderthal named Ooma came stumbling along and presented the festively dressed pagans with an delightfully scented evergreen branch. Naturally, all the pagans were shocked! A green thing still green on the winter solstice. They almost had Ooma executed as a charlatan, until he offered to show the pagans his evergreen farm some several miles away. Since they did not have bicycles or cars in those days, some several miles was a long way.

To make a short story longer, a pagan named Klonder (he would later discover the Klondike bar) followed Ooma to his ever green farm. And wouldn't you know it, all the evergreens were green right there on the day of the winter solstice. Klonder blinked his eyes in disbelief. But Ooma was not done! He went into his mud hut and came back out with a jar of fireflies and unloosed them upon the evergreens. They took flight, buzzing insanely in the cold winter air. Looking for refuge, they lit upon the branches of the evergreens just as darkness was descending upon the land. The trees were ablaze with the light of 50,000 fireflies, all of which soon froze to death and fell upon the snow.

Naturally, when Klonder returned to his band of pagans, he regaled them with the tale of Ooma's evergreens, all green and pretty, ablaze with fireflies, smack dead in the middle of the winter solstice.

Most of the pagans, didn't believe Klonder, and advised him to give up drinking and smoking rope, but some believed him and regaled their children with Klonder's saga. Thus the tale of the evergreens ablaze with lights lived on through the centuries...

Then of course, after Christ was born, things changed, the world changed, and all the pagans disappeared (and so did the Neanderthals, but that had nothing to do with the spread of Christianity).

When Martin Luther (1483-1546) heard of it, he reintroduced evergreen boughs as a symbol of Christmas. The truth be told, however, Martin did not invent the Christmas tree. The Christmas tree didn't come along until a used horse salesman named Darby Brown, looking for a way to increase sales in winter, started hauling in dwarf evergreen trees (bushes, some would say) to sell from his used horse lot in the winter of 1600.

At first people thought Darby was nuts selling dead trees from his used horse lot. But when he stuck candles on the branches and stuck sardine cans shaped like angels on top of the tree, folks went wild. From then on Christmas trees became a Christmas tradition -- but not without some setbacks.

The Puritans, didn't like anything. In fact the word "Puritan" means - "you're not allowed to have more fun than I am. If I don't have any fun, you don't have any fun either..." And, of course, Puritans knew only blood, sweat and tears -- and fire and brimstone. So it's no surprise that they hated Christmas trees. The Puritans outlawed many Christmas traditions because people who celebrated were having more fun than they were! And this is why the Christmas tree was slower to catch on in England and parts of North America which were rife with Puritans in funny hats.. It wasn't until the late 19th century that many American homes had Christmas trees.

So, the next time you start thinking something good about the Puritans, you just stop yourself. If they had their way, you'd be sitting at your tree stump, eating a bowl of gruel, wincing in pain from your frostbitten extremities.

At least Martin Luther tried to make Christmas trees part of our Christmas tradition. But, the next time you turn on your Christmas tree, don't thank Martin Luther, thank Darby Brown ... that wonderful used horse salesman who, in 1600, opened the first Christmas tree lot...and sold the first Christmas tree.

If you're a Puritan, I didn't mean to offend you. Come on over on Christmas day and I'll make a turkey dinner. And I promise, I won't have one bit more fun than you'll have.

And now everyone knows the real story of the Christmas tree.

I wonder if Darby is any relation to Charlie?

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Thunderbird Email Program Installed by Cloudeight - Christmas Special

Our Thunderbird Email Set-up Service includes:

• Installing Thunderbird on one computer
• Setting up your email accounts in Thunderbird (up to 3 accounts) and configuring them correctly.
• All accounts will be set up as IMAP accounts so all mail messages and folders on your mail server(s) are displayed in Thunderbird.
• Configure font, images, privacy and other settings so that Thunderbird works more like the email program(s) you're used to using.
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• If you want to use Cloudeight Email Stationery, we will set this up for you, and include a stationery collection too!
• All of this for $39 - CHRISTMAS SPECIAL - JUST $25!
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Offer valid for a limited time only.

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Have a great weekend and Merry Christmas!

Darcy & TC
Cloudeight InfoAve Premium - Issue # 688
Volume 14 Number 9
December 16, 2016
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