A Fact of Life and a Cloudeight Site Pick: You’re Getting Old

A Fact of Life and a Cloudeight Site Pick: You’re Getting Old

We’re all getting old. I was going to use EB as an example for this article, but one shouldn’t pick on his elders. So, we’ll leave EB out of this. But let me say this, EB is older than Humphrey.

When my dad was in his 80’s when I asked him how he was doing he would say, “I’m still breathing. It beats the alternative.” I’m not exactly sure how he knew what the alternative was or what it offered, but I’m not often inclined to engage in philosophical or religious discourse.

Anyway, all of us are getting old. But I’m sure you never realized how old you’re really getting.

In this example, I’m using Humphrey Elliot. A completely imaginary guy I conjured up from Humphrey Bogart and Elliot from the movie “ET”, which, by the way, is not the past tense of “eat”.

When you go to our site pick, “You’re getting old“, you’ll be given a choice of doing the calculations for yourself or a friend. For your amusement, my imaginary friend Humphrey Elliot will be our guinea pig.

Note the birthdate is “everywhere-else-in-the-world-but-the-USA” style. That is, it is Day/Month/Year and not Month/Day/Year.

Now with all that out of the way…

I know, for a fact, that Humphrey was born on 22 JUNE 1950. So, I input his birthdate and click “Go”… and away we go!

It tells Humphrey something, if he’s anything like me, he already knows. He knows he’s getting old. He does not need a website to tell him that. He knows because he grunts when he sits down and putting his pants on is not as easy as it used to be. I’m just sayin’…

It gives Humphrey some depressing details, as you can see below.

And this website continues to rub it in. For instance, in Humphrey’s impressive lifetime, he has blown out thousands of birthday candles, and his cholesterol-clogged heart has beaten 2,713,098,066 times – and counting.  The moon has orbited the earth 994 times and Humphrey hopes for at least 1100.

And speaking of numbers I cannot fathom, it looks like Humphrey has moved around quite a bit – as all of us do as we ride the wild earth as it spins around the sun, the sun travels around the galaxy, the galaxy travels through the universe toward the “great attractor” (well, that’s what it says).

And those of you who are believers in the metric system will note that all the distances are in miles. To turn miles into kilometers use Google or divide the number of miles by 1.609. It’s OK, Windows has a calculator built in. Just type CALC in the taskbar search – you’ll see.

And if you need more stuff to make your friend or you feel old, this site will cater to that need by providing you with all sorts of things that have happened during your lifetime. 

And if you’re still with me, this site adds one more thing to let you know, without a doubt, you’re getting old. Humphrey is shocked and relieved that only about 35% of people born in 1950 have kicked the bucket. On the bright side, about 65% still roam the earth. Lucky for us, Humphrey lives on! Yay! Humphrey.

Are you brave enough to see how old you are getting? I thought you might be.

Go now and see how old you’re getting by visiting this Cloudeight site pick.