Just a few minutes ago, I received one of those scam emails designed to pluck at my heart strings and make me all warm and fuzzy — and abandon my common sense enough that I’d actually give my bank account details to someone I don’t know.
Most of the time, I just delete it, but sometimes I can’t resist replying. Here is the scam email I received this evening, and my reply to it:
From: “MRS.SAYURI YOSHIKO” <mrs_sayuri@hotmail.com>
Sent: Sunday, November 24, 2013 7:06 PM
Subject: CAN YOU BUILD FOR THE LORD,THANK YOU AND GOD BLESS YOU
Dearest one,
Please permit me to encroach into your privacy with this medium. My name is MRS.SAYURI YOSHIKO, a surviving victim of Japan Tsunami disaster. God almighty has restored peace, love and joy in my heart to have chosen you to handle a humanitarian project.The lord gave me the vision to share about the project with you, and has also reveals to my understanding your credibility, integrity and honesty to handle the project the way I will instruct you. Therefore under my disability condition I have a tangible funds deposited in a bank which in your effort will touch lives of many in those miserable conditions if help utilize in humanitarian activities as I will instruct you. As a Christian this is the only way to do my own quota to help humanity.
Like I mentioned earlier I have the sum of $10.5M USD was deposited in a (BANK ABROAD) deposited under our family names, which you will be taking charge and the funds will transfer to you for the humanitarian relieve project to help the needing. Because on the cause of the Tsunami outbreak I was the only survivor, out of family offour which comprise my late husband and two children. Right now I have no one left that can inherit these funds if I die, rather to take urgent step to position you to the deposited Bank as my appointed beneficiary to claim the funds and utilize under my instructions. The most shocking of my condition right now is that the Chief Medical Director, haven discharged me declared I should hold on to God tightly, possibly I have some few months to live due to deteriorating nature of my health. Obviously I now live on a wheelchair because it was confirmed that my spinal cord and ear drums was badly affected and could no longer function instead to live with it till my last day. Therefore all education, healthcare and to provide food for the less privileged.
As you can see this is the project you are chosen to take charge as the lord reveal to me about you. However you will have to provide me your (CONTACTS DETAILS) to have them forward to my bank to transfer the funds to you for commencement of the project. Note that all legal documents that will present you to the bank as my appointed beneficiary shall be provided for you, and anyone that requires my signature shall append on it. Once again, thank you for your kindness may God guide and reward you in all your endeavors in helping realizing my last wishes and dreams.
Be blessed,
Mrs.Sayuri Yoshiko
(my reply)
Dear Mrs. Sayuri Yoshiko,
First let me say, I am never sure with you people of foreign descent, which of your names is the first name and which is the surname, so to be safe, I’ve put both of your names on the salutation. I’m not sure your English is advanced enough to know that word, but when you get time, google “Salutation Army”.
I really thought the Tsunami happened quite a while ago, but bless you for your courage and making it through the Tsunami.
You know as much as I could use $10.5 million, I can’t accept all of that money. But, I’ll tell you what, if you send me just $5000 (via my PayPal email address, I’ll take charge and do whatever you need me to do. You can then either keep the $10,495,000.00 or donate it to charity for me. Those poor folks who are without food and clean water surely need the money more than I.
As soon as you have deposited the $5000.00 to my PayPal account, I will immediately send you back a list of the charities to which I would like you to disperse the residual funds. I’m sure $10,495,000.00 would do a lot of good for a lot of people,and I indeed look forward to helping you to disperse the funds so that the most people possible benefit.
Your loss is tragic and sad; you are a very strong woman. I know the burden of all your wealth weighs heavily upon your dear soul, and your need to disperse those funds is urgent. So let us not delay.
If you agree to my generous terms, let me know right away and I will send you the address to which you can send the $5000.00 and upon receipt of that money, I will send you back a list of charities to which I would have you disperse the remaining $10,495,000.00.
It is an honor to be able to work with you and to know that we, together, will be helping thousands of needy people all around the world.
Thank you so much for selecting me to be the administrator of your funds. I am deeply honored!
Best wishes to you! And bless you too, Mrs. Sayuri Yoshiko.
Your faithful servant,
TC
PS: I would hope you can send the $5000 to my PayPal account before Friday of this week. I hate to sound mercenary and shallow — but it’s Black Friday here in the United States, and with the $5000, I will make a lot of my greedy family members happy. I look forward to receiving the funds so that we can proceed with our joint project and together, with your money and my brains, help thousands of needy people all around the world.
What a great reply!
That was great and funny too. You always say what I would like to and you do it well. If you get the money please remember me a little old lady in Elyria.:)
I think this a GREAT reply. I would love to have seen the face of the person receiving your reply! Loved it!!
Has “dearest one” checked his Paypal account yet? I bet Mrs Sayuri Yoshiko can’t wait to avail herself of this municifenct offer. And when she does, please remember another little old lady in far-away New Zealand.
I gotta hand it to you TC, you sure know how to do it. What an awesome response. Just enough condescension thrown in there too. Oh yes, remember me too. I’m from the good ol’ USA & I only need enough to get 2 iPads or cheap tablets for my grandkids. Thanks a bunch in advance.
I love your reply, TC. I,too, find myself responding to some of those nutcases…..in different manner sometimes….but I also love to provide a counter offer just to liven things up. So far, no response. One time I responded with corrections to their spelling errors and told them that perhaps if they returned to school and really gained an education they would not have to resort to sending our fraudulent emails. I expect my replies get deleted, but at least I feel better having vented.
I
Don’t forget this little old lady in Australia as well, TC. Just love your sense of humour and wit. I’ll remember your reply for the next time I receive one of these Scam emails lolol.
What a great reply! I would never have thought of that, but from now on, when I receive a scam like the above, I’m going to reply just like you did. Yea TC! I recognized the name Yoshiko. She put her last name first. I lived in Japan for 13 years and just knowing how prideful the Japanese are, the majority of the people there would never have written such a letter. It seems like if the people invite Christianity into their lives, it’s usually the Mormon religion or 7th Day Adventist. The missionaries from these two religions is strong in Japan. The Japanese people that I met knew enough to put their first names first when writing to a Westerner. The replies from the other people to you are wonderful and they also had some nice ways of responding to these spams. Thanks TC!
It just burns me no end when people use God in such a duplicitous way in order to pad their own pockets. I’m so sorry that there are others out there who take these bogus emails to heart and respond, much to their detriment. I’m sure it has to be a significant number or these types of emails would stop. Great reply, TC, it’s just a shame that these scams are allowed to go on without any consequences to the sender.
Yuo have made a major mistake even replying. Unless you used an anonymous email address you have now ensured the sender can add you to their spamming list.
Maybe I should have put a disclaimer: “Please do not try this at home.” I’ve been around as long as the Web has been around and I sort of, kind of, possibly, know what I’m doing 🙂
I like your reply to the spammer TC and I also like your response to Alan. Yes, you do know what you are doing and that is why I make your Home Page, My Home Page and I am very pleased with all of the knowledge you and EB share with all of us. Thanks to both of you…You two Rock.
After a reply like that why would anyone bother adding the sender to their spamming list?
I was once asked to assist in sending funds to a sick person in Dubai so they could receive much needed medical treatment. I replied that I would be travelling to that country in a few days, and if they cared to send me an address, I would call and see how I could help. Needless to say I never got a reply
I take it Mrs. Yoshiko, since there are 49% Buddism Religion, 34% Shintoism, 3% Christianity, and 2% not stated – in your country, that YOU are one of the ‘Christianity’ ones since you mentioned The ‘Lord’ — is that correct?? Hopefully, all the other religions managed to stay alive too, so perhaps they will come to your aide as I am but a poor person myself, but I will say a prayer for you that your ‘gift from Heaven’ in that 2% will arrive sooner rather than later, but I am only able to send you My Blessings!!
It surprises that the Lord didn’t reveal your bank details to them?!!
Everyone has an angle including a little ole man in AL. PS Don’t send cash. Jim
So…did you get the 5k?
Nobody else bothered to ask. Shaking my head…
No…nothing yet 🙂 Any day now I’m sure…
Lucky bast***. I never get free money emails.
Love your reply! Surely your money is in hand now. Ha.
Thumbs up to that reply TC! It gave me a giggle!!! Loved it!
I usually just delete also.
Good show!!