Daylight Saving Time- Playing with Clocks

Daylight Saving Time- Playing with Clocks

I just learned this year that calling Daylight Saving Time, “Daylight Savings Time”, with an S is, incorrect. They say it makes me look like an idiot to everyone who’s in the know. 

Look here: “Daylight Savings Time is a misspelling, but more common than the correct term. Setting our clocks 1 hour forward in the spring is often referred to as “Daylight Savings Time” even though “Daylight Saving Time” is the correct spelling…”  Read more here.

I’m tired of being corrected, I tells ya. So, not wanting to look like an idiot or a fool, any more than I usually do, I’ve called this piece “Daylight Saving Time – Playing with Clocks”. That should appease those who look for perfection – although I can’t promise anywhere near perfection for what lies ahead.

And if you’re thinking I’m going to remind you to set your clocks ahead an hour, I’m not. It’s not time yet. I think that would be a week from this coming Sunday – if you’re thinking that far ahead. A lot can happen between now and a week from this coming Sunday.

I used to hate the day when we set the clocks ahead an hour. For I loved to skulk around in the dark; to me Daylight Saving Time was anathema. I used to enjoy taking walks in the dead dark of night and seeing that everyone was snug in their homes – it was comforting. I once traipsed through nearby neighborhoods in brand-spankin’-new Cat’s Pause® walking shoes. OK, so they’re expensive and hard to find – but everyone deserves to splurge a little… even if you’re broke.

So, I urge you to splurge before your dirge.

I know that sounds morose, morbid, and melancholy, but it’s true. And what better reminder is there than the hourglass metaphor;  each one of us has an hourglass with our name on it – and for each of us the sand is running out.

Don’t be angry with me – it’s a fact of life. When that last grain of sand slides down the tube, it’s lights out buddy; you’ll never get another chance to dance and splurge on this earth. So, I say…

Splurge before your dirge.

Anyway, Daylight Saving Time used to be a sad time for me – no more long nights of darkness; no more nightly walks skulking through murky, gloomy, silent streets alone with my thoughts.

I don’t feel that way anymore. Back when I used to enjoy those stealthy walks through the cloaking black veil of night, I used to be able to stay awake past 10:00 PM. Back in the day, I had time to enjoy good books and good movies before turning in for the night. So, I used to love the dark and gloom and the shadows and all the murky things borne on the black wings of night.

But not anymore.

In the fall and winter, when we are on Standard Time, I can hardly stay awake past 9:00. It gets dark around here between 4:45 and 5:30 PM. That means by the time the clock strikes nine,  the night has shrouded the world in gloomy, melancholy darkness for four full hours by then.

If I start to read and the book – or tablet- no matter how exciting or good, inevitably it plummets from my hand to the floor, waking me and startling me with its ominous crash. I can manage only 2 or 3 pages each evening. At that rate, it takes me 4 months to read a 350-page novel. So a book I start in November, but I don’t finish until March. By then, I can’t remember what it was about.

And movies? Let me tell you about movies.  No matter how good the movie is, I end up falling asleep before it’s even half over. I fall asleep in my old man’s recliner with my neck crooked at an amusingly odd angle — according to those who’ve witnessed it — and the remote clutched in my hand. I don’t sleep very long before I wake up with a start and a sore neck, and fingers so stiff I have to pry them off the remote.

So, yes, I look forward to Daylight Saving Time these latter years. Don’t give me the hooey about losing an hour’s sleep. I lose more than an hour’s sleep every night getting up and going to the bathroom, getting a drink, or rolling around on the bed trying to find a position where my aging carcass feels comfortable enough to go to sleep.  So don’t ever tell me you don’t like Daylight Saving Time because you’re going to lose an hour’s worth of sleep!

And don’t you really find those who say you’re going to make up the hour of sleep you lost come autumn? What are they smoking? Here in my neck of the woods, it’s roughly seven and a half months between the beginning of Daylight Saving Time and the ending of Daylight Saving Time. That’s roughly 220 days.

Now, do you think 220 nights from now, you’re going to put on your PJs, crawl into bed, yawn, and say to yourself — or anyone nearby — “Gosh, I’m so glad I’m going to get back that hour of sleep that Daylight Saving Time stole from me last March. That has stuck in my craw for the last 220 days.”

I really don’t think so, and neither do you. Yet you’re going to hear people moaning about losing an hour of sleep when Daylight Saving Time begins. You’re going to hear why they think Daylight Saving Time is terrible. You’re going to hear people tell you next fall, that you’re going to get back that hour of sleep you lost in the spring. Seriously?

I like Daylight Savings Time because  I can stay up way past 9:00 PM – heck I can mow the grass if I want to… I can sit outside and read a book and drink beer. When Daylight Saving Time is in effect, I can read a 350-page novel in three or four nights. I can stay awake until 11:00 PM or so, just like younger folks do. That means I can mow the lawn, read a book, drink a beer, and watch a movie – all in the same evening! What’s not to like about Daylight Saving Time?

OK, so I have to walk in the light. Big deal! My new Cat’s Pause® walking shoes are bright red – and I don’t mind stylin’ around in the daylight wearing them. They’re pretty cool! Besides, no one younger than fifty notices me anyway – I’m invisible to anyone younger. And that’s a good thing because I don’t have to comb what’s left of my hair. If it’s windy I just wear a hat, no matter how hot it is. The few long tufts of hair I have all fit nicely under the tight-fitting knit stocking hat. I have one to match my shoes.

And remember, it’s Daylight Saving Time, not Daylight Savings Time. Daylight Saving Time starts Sunday. Set your clocks ahead on Saturday afternoon. That way you can practice for Sunday. Someday, people won’t have a clue what we mean when we say set your clocks ahead one hour – or set them back one hour. Clocks you have to “set” will be as outdated as the rotary dial telephone. They almost are now. I still have a clock on my stove, microwave, and anniversary clock in the bedroom (no, it’s not romantic), that I have to change manually. But computers, tablets, cable boxes, TVs, etc. change the time automatically.

Anyway, if you live in the USA – but not in Arizona or Hawaii –  set your clocks ahead one hour before you go to bed.  If you don’t set your clocks ahead, you’ll bed one hour late for everything.

If our illustrious senators and representatives would stop wasting time arguing about conspiracy theories and dumb stuff no one cares about and passed that law they’ve been talking about for years – that would end this playing with the clocks thing once and for all. Just set it for daylight saving time and forget that lost hour of sleep. But they won’t, they have dumber things to rant and rave about.

To our senators & representatives, I say: “Pass that law, you morons!”

And as for the rest of you good people, don’t let me hear a peep from you about losing an hour of sleep.