Dear Tech Support
Husband Operating System
Barb J. shared this with us and we are sharing it with you! Enjoy!
Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend to Husband and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the Flower and Jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend. In addition, Husband uninstalled many other valuable programmes, such as Romance and Personal Attention and then installed undesirable programs such as Hockey, Football, Golf and HBO/Game of Thrones. Conversation no longer runs, and any endeavour to upload Housecleaning simply crashes the system. I’ve tried running Nagging to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?
Signed, Desperate
Dear Desperate,
First keep in mind, Boyfriend is an Entertainment Package, while Husband is an Operating System. Please enter the command: ‘http: I Thought You Loved Me.html’ and try to download Tears; do not forget to install the Guilt update. If that application works as designed, Husband should then automatically run the applications Jewellery and Flowers, but remember – over-use of the above application can cause Husband to default to Grumpy Silence, Garage or Beer. Beer is a particularly bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta. Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law (it runs a destructive virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources). Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband.
In summary, Husband is a great system, but it does have limited memory, is somewhat erratic, and cannot learn new applications quickly. It also tends to work better running one task at a time. You might consider installing additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Steak, Pulled Pork and Hot Lingerie.
Good Luck, Tech Support
That was a RIOT! And in many, many instances, so very, very true!!
Hillarious and brilliant!!!
I couldn’t help laughing.
Dear User,
Before starting to use a new system it is necessary to research how long the new system will last in comparison to the old system. In consideration, check what the benefits were when the original system was accepted, and why the current user feels that the old system is failing, when in fact, the old system has far more benefits than the new system, and the user who thinks the old system is malfunctioning should instigate some upgrades, because on many occasions the fault is with the user who lacks interest in updating the old system, and soon will lose interest in updating the new system, but continue blaming that system when spam, scams, malware, spyware and viruses degrade the system, because the user expects to press the ON button for the system to operate perfectly, but has not done one thing to keep the system operating in pristine condition, and blames the failure of the old system on everyone and everything except the owner/operator who does not have the ability to correctly run a system, it is not rocket science, just an 0 or a 1 is all that is required.
That is funny
Just another proof that oldies can still be goodies, with no especial demand on the year, decade or even last century, the first time I read it.
Robert
How funny, how true. Especially inability to learn new apps quickly and tends to work better running one task at a time. Been working on this system many years, would hate to start over on a new one.
Absolutely great reading to brighten my day.
As was JoinOz’s contribution in the comment section.
Thanks all.
and Happy Thanksgiving to US readers, and Happy whatever
to those in other countries also celebrating something.
(Sorry not up on my holidays around the world.)