Dropping Off
There are a lot of things about getting old that are difficult. Most of us woke up one morning and looked in the mirror and said “Oh, My Gosh! Is that me?” A friend who died a few years ago had a webcam before they were ubiquitous. He said one day he turned on his computer and forget his webcam was hooked up and jumped out of his chair in fright when he saw a withered-up old codger looking back at him from the computer screen. It was him.
Most of us never thought we would be old and now look at us… the young don’t even know we exist. Hah! I was young once and I never thought I’d be old. I thought 30 was long enough to live when I was 15. My teachers who were in their 30s and 40s looked like old shriveled prunes to me when I was in middle school.
Now look at me…actually, I would prefer you don’t.
If you’re an old coot like me then you know what I mean when I say you only age on the outside, while the inside stays the same. You wake up one morning, look in the mirror, and see a 75-year-old ‘you’ staring back. That’s what it’s like being old. Though you’re old the young person inside is still you. You haven’t changed your sense of self.
Sometimes you think you can still do the things you used to do until you try to do them. And the world does not see the me inside, it just sees an old coot walking down the street. I think I’m walking just like I used to but I know I don’t. I still try to walk fast but if anyone looked at me they’d turn away because no one likes to watch old people do anything.
And sometimes I get deeply annoyed when trying to put on my socks or bending over to pick up something I dropped on the floor. But what really irks me about getting old is not being young anymore. It’s Nature’s cruelest trick and you don’t find out about it until you get there. And by that time, it’s too late to do anything about it. You may have acquired a lot of wisdom along the way but that’s about all.
No one wants to hear my wisdom. I am just an old curmudgeon.
When you’re old, no one takes you seriously. You get a lot of uh-huh’s and head nodding. You’re not the life of the party, that’s for sure. And even when you do get invited to a family gathering all the young folks kind of ignore you after giving you a cursory greeting. I guess they think they have to.
If your family doesn’t live close by, and you have to drive an hour or two to see them, it’s a challenge. Driving at night drives me crazy and trying to attend a Christmas Eve celebration almost certainly entails night-driving.
I can’t see the way I used to no matter my competent and caring eye doctor. Why can’t people drive to see me? I’ll tell you why. Because I live in an outdated, non-open-floorplan house, which, my gosh, still has wallpaper. No doubt it smells like old people. And according to young scientists, old people so have an odor. It’s called the “old-people-smell”. See you doubt me, don’t you? Why because I’m old! But take a look at what Scientific American has to say. Read this.
People in auto repair shops think I’m stupid. I just had a starter replaced on my 12-year-old car (126,600 miles). One guy said it would cost “around” $800. But I’m a slick old coot… I used AI to find the average cost to replace a starter on my make/model/year of car in my area was $375 to $550. Armed with this info from AI, I got my starter replaced for $425. Just because I’m old does not mean I’m stupid. I know how to use computers as well as ChatGPT and Gemini. Most young hooligan slicksters don’t count on that when they see this old shriveled coot walk up to the counter.
And then there are all the people dropping off all around you. An old friend of mine called death “dropping off” and I rather like that term. It’s not as morbid or as final-sounding as “he dropped dead” or as euphemistic as “she passed on”. It sounds so much better to say…” Did you hear that Ralph dropped off on Tuesday?”
Family members, friends, and acquaintances drop off all around you all the time. My grandparents, parents, parents-in-law, my sister, two brothers-in-law, my cousins, three of my best friends, and a lot of people I grew up with, worked with, or were acquainted with, have all dropped off.
And all of that cuts deep because I know I ain’t gonna live forever. I am going to drop off some time and so are you. I just don’t know when. I don’t want to know when either. I want to wallow and hobble around in blessed ignorance.
I will admit though that this dropping off stuff does bother me a bit. I’ve been known to remind people that at my age I might drop off at any moment. My kids don’t like to hear it, but it is a fact.
OK. I’ve got work to do and I have to go to the grocery store for cat litter and paper plates. See? I still have a purpose in life and I won’t think about dropping off anymore (today).
But I bet you will.
Neat story that we resemble!!
My wife has had all of here friends “drop off” and now will not try to make new friends for fear they will drop off.
Oh my TC, you’re on a roll. This one made me laugh although I’m 81. I shouldn’t laugh but the way you write made me laugh. You’re right… we are all going to drop off sooner or later!
Hello, i’m halfway there. I have a number of good friends all near the same age . we were all young together and we are all getting older together and it helps to share the annoyances. My older friends complain about certain things and i’m happy to say, actually, that i share with them my emerging complaints too, to show solidarity because they used to tease me about being a young buck compared to them. I’ll try to face it with a solid sense of humor and friendship
Whom do we rely on when you drop off? Of course I may go first…
Your best writing bit of all TC…touching, sensitive, emotional…and spot on.
Best,
Rivhard
Oh my I have been and am in the middle of doing “old” right now. No one quiet gets it till you reach it.
Boy this is spot on! I am an 84 year young widow and laugh when younger folks find me computer savvy or find me using my battery powered saw to cut back tree branches! Love it! And I plan on continuing until it’s my turn to drop off!
Who described me so well to you? I see it every day when I look in the mirror to a 93 old face. Enjoy your essays very much. Thanks for all the laughs.
Great article that I more then just resemble, I am the article, I’ll be seventy five come this April, I find it hard to believe that I arrived here so quickly with out noticing till I had a kidney infection that almost made me drop away, Now I ration dropping away ( I really like that way of saying it ) by comparing the fact that great people & rich people , aren’t they the same, have dropped away around the world & if that happens to them then surly my dropping away is some wheres in my future to, for some reason that makes me feel better but not great, I am in the process of taking care of business, I have a designated drop away person to take care of the calls to whom ever & crematorium, all I own is already designated so the only thing left is another life insurance policy as a gift to my son, he loves me & money, not to a fault but the money will help, I often wonder about dropping away & one of the brilliant observation I have made is no matter who you are someone is going to have to get stuck taking care of your dropping away no matter who the hades you are, I find that some what ironic in that I have generally always been a do it myself person, when we drop away we drop away from everything, even the self sufficiency.
I can definitely relate to what you wrote. I thought I could maybe brag that I’m 80 but I see there are quite a few older than me still computing. Kudos to them all and I hope they can and I can continue until we drop off.
Great essay and as an 80 year widower, I can relate. I know that I’m going to drop off one day; but I don’t worry about it. I don’t get wrapped around the axel about things I can’t control. Until my drop off day comes, plan to live and enjoy each day God gives me. I’m planning on riding my motorcycle to Nevada in May camping along the way. Maybe I’ll even meet a new riding partner.
“But I bet you will.” Think about it, that is. TC, I think about it every day. It hurts to get out of bed and do almost everything else during the day. Sitting down, standing up, walking the dog, stepping off the curb, walking uphill, the list could go on much longer. On bad days, I help myself along by taking an Aleve. I’m 80! So what? I still get jobs done, I still have friends I chat with as we walk. I still connect with people via social media and phone. What hits home is when I read about co-workers who have dropped off while much younger than I am. We were in the same industry, doing roughly the same job and having similar lifestyles, as a result. I lasted 51 years on the job and have been retired for 10. I guess I can drop off anytime.