I’m Nobody and You Should Vote for Me

I’m Nobody and You Should Vote for Me

It’s election time in the USA again, and this year you should vote for Nobody. I’m Nobody, and I’m not running this year – but you should wish I was.

I want to introduce myself. You don’t know me, but you have often wished you did. I don’t belong to a political party. I don’t owe allegiance to any country. I’m not patriotic but I’m not antipatriotic. I don’t belong to any country; I don’t owe Anyone anything. And I’m a qualified candidate; I can run for any office, in any country, state, province, county, city, town, or village.

If you ever found yourself voting for the lesser of two evils, and I know you have, I’m your candidate. I don’t need your money. I’m not taking campaign donations, I don’t need a party affiliation, but I’m your candidate.

I am qualified to run for president, prime minister, governor, congress, parliament, your mayor – you name the office, I’m qualified.

The next time you vote for a candidate you really don’t want or like- but want and like better than the alternative candidates, you’ll think about me. I know you will. Or I know you should.

But you won’t find me on the ballot anywhere, but I should be on the ballot everywhere.

I’m nobody but I want to be your candidate.

I’m the candidate that gives you, for once, a real choice. And if I win, you win. If I lose, you lose. It’s a WIN-WIN you see.

Now imagine that I was on your ballot. You had three others on the ballot besides me. You really don’t like any of the others, but one belongs to your preferred political party, but she’s not a real choice – just the lesser of three evils.

Here, let me give you an example. Here’s your ballot.

Patty Peasoup (R)
Maggie Marker (D)
Clifton Cheeseball (I)

Really? Do you really want any of those folks? Do you? Put me on the ballot and you might get somebody you can feel good about voting for.

Patty Peasoup (R)
Maggie Marker (D)
Clifton Cheeseball (I)
Nobody (*)

Now, if Patty, Maggie, and Clifton don’t excite you, you have a choice. You can vote for Nobody – that’s me. And if Nobody wins, the parties must come up with new candidates and you get to vote all over again for SOMEBODY you really want. If Nobody (that’s me!) wins again, then the political parties better produce candidates you really feel good about because Nobody will win until Somebody wins.

And when somebody wins it will be somebody you really want, not someone who was elected because they were the lesser of all the available evils and you didn’t have a real choice.

You should make sure that I am on the ballot everywhere, for every office, and for every election.

I am your candidate of choice when you don’t really have a choice.

And if you don’t listen to Nobody – that’s me – then the next time you vote, you can’t blame me if you don’t have Nobody to vote for.

Only you can put Nobody on the ballot. You can demand that Nobody is on the ballot everywhere, every election, every time. If you don’t, you may never get Somebody you really want to vote for.

Make sure that Nobody is on every ballot everywhere for every election.

I’m qualified for every office from the prime minister, to the president, to the governor, to the mayor, to the sheriff. I am qualified and ready to run in any country for any office. I can run anywhere – in any country, state, province, or territory. I can run in any city, town, or village.

I’m Nobody. Don’t you think I should be on the ballot everywhere?

When you vote for Nobody, you have a much better chance you will finally get Somebody you really want to vote for.

But I cannot do it by myself. I’m just Nobody. Only you can make sure that I,  Nobody, is on all your ballots in every election, every time. And because it’s your vote, I know you want it to count.  And the only way that is ever going to happen is if Nobody is on the ballot in every election.

Remember this, my friends… Only when Nobody is on the ballot can you be certain you’ll always have Somebody you really want to vote for.

I’m Nobody and you don’t know me, but I’m quite certain you’ll wish you did. Think of me the next time you vote for a candidate you don’t really want or like, only because you like the other candidates even less.

Make sure I’m on your ballot and vote for me – Nobody – until Somebody you really want comes along.

I’m Nobody and you may never get somebody to vote for until you vote for me.