The End of Daylight Saving Time

The End of Daylight Saving Time

I just learned a couple of spring’s ago that calling Daylight Saving Time, “Daylight Savings Time”, with an S is, incorrect. They say it makes me look like an idiot to everyone who knows it’s correctly called Daylight Saving Time.

Look here: 

Daylight Savings Time is a misspelling, but more common than the correct term. Setting our clocks 1 hour forward in the spring is often referred to as “Daylight Savings Time” even though “Daylight Saving Time” is the correct spelling…” From https://www.timeanddate.com/time/dst/daylight-savings-time.html

I’m tired of being corrected, I tells ya. So, not wanting to look like an idiot or a fool any more than I usually do, I’ve called this piece The End Daylight Saving Time 2019. That should appease those who look for perfection – although I can’t promise anywhere near perfection for what lies beyond.

And if you’re thinking I’m going to remind you to set your clocks back an hour, I am. Set your clocks back an hour when you go to bed Saturday night – that would be November 2, 2019 – although Daylight Saving(s) time does not end until 2:00 AM on Sunday, November 3, 2019. If you’re like me and you can’t keep your eyes open past 10:30 PM, turn your clocks back one before you go to bed on Saturday night. If you’re a swinger or a clubber, feel free to set them back after you stumble in from your night of debauchery.  

I used to hate the day when we set the clocks ahead an hour. For I was one who loved to skulk around in the dark; to me Daylight Saving Time was anathema. I used to enjoy taking walks in the dead dark of night and seeing everyone was snug in their homes – it was comforting. I once traipsed through nearby neighborhoods in brand-spankin’-new Cat’s Pause® walking shoes. OK, so they’re expensive and hard to find – but everyone deserves to splurge a little… even if you’re broke.

So, I urge you to splurge before your dirge.

I know that sounds morose, morbid and melancholy, but it’s true. And what better reminder is there than the hourglass metaphor; each one of us has an hourglass with our name on it – and the sand is running out.

Don’t be angry with me – it’s a fact of life. When that last grain of sand slides down the tube, it’s lights out and you’ll never get another chance to splurge on this earth. So, I say…

Splurge before your dirge.

Anyway, Daylight Saving Time use to be a sad time for me – no more long nights of darkness; no more nightly walks skulking through murky, gloomy, silent streets alone with my thoughts.

Standard Time

In the fall and winter, when we are on Standard Time, I can hardly stay awake past 9:00 PM. It gets dark around here between 4:45 and 5:30 PM. That means by the time the clock strikes nine, the night has shrouded the world in gloomy, melancholy darkness for four full hours.

If I start to read and the book – or tablet- no matter how exciting or good, inevitably it plummets from my hand to the floor, waking me and startling me with its ominous crash. I can manage only 2 or 3 pages each evening. At that rate, it takes me 4 months to read a 350-page novel. So a book I start in November, I don’t finish until March. By then, I can’t remember what it’s about.

And movies? Let me tell you about movies. No matter how good the movie is, I end up falling asleep before it’s even half over. I fall asleep in my old-man’s – and I don’t mean my dad’s –  recliner with my neck crooked at an amusingly odd angle — according to those who’ve witnessed it — with the remote clutched in my hand. I don’t sleep very long before I wake up with a start and a sore neck, and fingers so stiff I have to pry them off the remote with my other hand.

So, yes, for the next 4+ months I will look forward to Daylight Saving Time. And in March when we spring ahead and add an hour of daylight to the end of the day by stealing it from the beginning of the day, I will rejoice.

And don’t give me the hooey about losing an hour’s sleep in March.  I lose more than an hour’s sleep every night getting up and going to the bathroom, or getting a drink, or rolling around on the bed trying to find a position where my aging carcass feels comfortable enough so I can crop off. Don’t ever tell me you don’t like Daylight Saving Time because you’re going to lose an hour’s worth of sleep!

If you’re one of those who really think they’re being robbed of an hour of sleep in the spring, well this weekend you can rejoice because you get that puny hour back.  What are you smoking?

Here in my neck of the woods, it’s roughly seven and a half months between the beginning of Daylight Saving Time and the ending of Daylight Saving Time. That’s roughly 220 days. Now, do you think the sleep you lost 220 nights ago, you’re going regain this weekend? Really? Are you are going to put on your PJs, crawl into bed, yawn, and say to yourself — or anyone nearby — “Gosh, I’m so glad I’m going to get back that hour of sleep that Daylight Saving Time stole from me last March. That has stuck in my craw for the last 220 days. Goodnight!”

I don’t think so, and neither do you. Yet you hear people moaning about losing an hour of sleep when Daylight Saving Time begins. And this weekend you’ll hear those same people running about gloating about an extra hour of sleep. Humbug! I tells ya!

I like Daylight Savings Time because I can stay up way past 9:00 PM – heck I can mow the grass at 8:30 PM  if I want to… or I can sit outside and read a book and drink beer. When Daylight Saving Time is in effect, I can read a 350-page novel in three or four nights. I have a chance of maybe staying awake until 11:00 PM! That means in the spring I can mow the lawn, read a book, drink a beer and watch a movie – all in the same evening! What’s not to like about Daylight Saving Time?

I hate Standard Time! This is the weekend I’ve been dreading. It will be getting dark at 5:30 PM on Sunday. Then in a couple of weeks, it will be dark by 5:15 PM. Then, by the ides of December, it will be dark before the clock strikes 5. That means if I have a busy day, I will have to skulk around in the dark to get my daily walks in.  Add cold bitter winds and snow and ice to that scenario, and if you have a heart, you’ll understand why I can’t wait until March 8, 2020, when Daylight Saving Time begins anew. I will gladly give up an hour of sleep to get back the opportunity to mow the grass, read a book, take a walk, drink a beer, and watch a movie, all before the sun goes down. I don’t care if we are stealing that hour from the beginning of the day. 

What me worry?

And remember, whether it is ending or beginning it’s Daylight Saving Time, not Daylight Savings Time. And Daylight Saving Time ends this Sunday. Don’t forget to set your clocks back one hour. Someday, people won’t have a clue what we mean when we say set your clocks back one hour – or set them ahead one hour. Clocks you have to “set” will be as outdated as my ties or the rotary dial telephone.

Anyway, if you live in the USA – but not in Arizona – set your clocks back one hour before you go to bed on Saturday. If you set your clocks ahead this Saturday, you’ll bed two hours late for everything, unless you have a meeting in Arizona. And if you don’t fuss with your clocks at all, you’ll be an hour late for everything. 

And if you’re one of those who complained about losing an hour of sleep last March, I bet you’re just thrilled about getting it back this weekend.

Woe, woe, woe. Darkness descends upon my world this weekend. Let the nighttime skulking begin… I guess.