Mark Twain never said anything about death and taxes, at least not quotable. Edward Ward in his 1724 “Dancing Devils” wrote “Death and Taxes, they are certain.” And Christopher Bullock wrote in his 1716 “Cobler of Preston” that “’Tis impossible to be sure of anything but Death and Taxes.” And you can quote me — if you think you can avoid death and taxes, please send me your ideas. I’d like to avoid at least one of them.
I know a lot about taxes. Working with EB is taxing. I’ve ridden in taxis before, although I really try hard to avoid them. And I’ve taxiied down many a taxiway — only to stop short of the runway and wait, and wait, for my plane to take off. All these are taxes. But, that’s not the kind of taxes we’re going to talk about today. We’re going to talk about the taxes that take away your money — the kind that take food from your children’s mouths, that take much-needed medicine from your shelves, the kind that leave you penniless and broken and destitute and living in some state shelter for the overtaxed. And if the NSA is reading this, then can you please talk to your cronies in the IRS and tell them we’ve had enough! Enough is enough!
I don’t think the NSA is going to intervene – I think they’re all scared of the IRS. I bet they don’t spy on IRS folks when they’re home pouring over classified documents in their pajamas whilst sipping Pouilly Fuisse and dipping brioche in Baba Ghanoush. Hey, IRS, I’m sitting here sipping Two-buck Chuck and dipping stale bread in homemade hummus I made from moldy chickpeas. You’ve overtaxed me. EB has overtaxed me. Taxis have overtaxed me. Airlines have overtaxiied me.
What’s a person to do?
A person can get answers to taxing tax questions from today’s Cloudeight Site Pick – real honest, well-researched, and correct answers –the kind of answers you can use, not the kind of answers that lead to Leavenworth or to being Bernie Madoff’s roomie.
I think by now, you have either given up and gone away or you’ve figured out I’m talking about a site where you can get real answers to your tax questions. Think of this site as like having your own highly-paid tax professional, guiding you carefully through the labyrinth of tax loopholes and rules. You might be able to deduct the cost of your dogfood if you have a service dog. Well, not YOUR dogfood. The dog’s dogfood. Don’t be so picayune!
Now it’s time to let the site owners come and speak to you, so, in my inimitable style, I tie up seemingly unrelated ramblings into a couple nicely crafted paragraphs which sum up well the gist of my gyrations:
“Get answers to your tax questions.
Earning income using services like Etsy, eBay, Kickstarter, Airbnb, and TaskRabbit has never been easier. In fact, people are even quitting their ‘traditional’ jobs to work solely on these platforms. Unfortunately, understanding the tax implications from this income is difficult. 1099 is here to to try and help you to understand your taxes in the Sharing Economy. “
So, ladies and gentleman, service dogs, chameleons, NSA folks, and the like… wait no longer to have your personal tax concierge — err your personal tax professional, always ready to provide meaty answers to your meaty tax questions.
Visit www.1099.is and get the right answers to your tax questions — and you’ll soon learn that this is a government of the rich, by the rich and for the rich — they make the rules, and the rest of us can just eat cake.
Got tax questions? http://www.1099.is has the answer. It’s your personal tax professional in a box…err on the Web. And it’s free.
Marie Antoinette never said “Let them eat cake” either. I really think it was Microsoft who said “let them eat cake” when they stuck a start button on Windows 8.1 that goes back to the start screen.