Beware the Big Green Buttons

Hello folks. Today’s lesson is called Big Green Buttons. In today’s lesson we’re going to play a game. The rules are simple. If you are careful and you read carefully, you’ll pass our test. If you hurry and make an error, you’ll fail. If you fail, you will  have to do 100 pushups every day this week on video. You’ll be required to share the video with us so we can share it with everyone. Capiche? If you win, you win our “Common Sense” award. If you lose, you’ll be making videos and doing pushups.

Today we have a great free giveaway. And all you have to do is choose the right download, OK? If you choose the wrong one, please load up on carbs because you’re going to be doing a lot of push-ups – and EB will make sure you do. If you have never felt the sting of her whip or had your backside beaten with her broomstick, let me tell you — IT HURTS!

We’re going to give those of you who are correct something valuable and something more rare than gold or diamonds: You’ll win the praise of EB — and let me tell you, that’s not easy. In 15 years, I have been praised twice: Once when I went on vacation for six days — and she was elated; and one time when I wrote a nice essay about her. That’s it.

All you have to do to win hugs and praise from the gnarly old EB is choose the right download link! If you choose the wrong one, you’ll be setting yourself up for misery, I tells ya!

Win EB’s praise and a big grandmotherly hug, or spend a week in front of a video camera doing pushups until you’re swimming in sweat, covered with lash marks from EB’s whip, and your big, wrinkled bottom is red from being beaten with her broomstick. And you must upload your push-up videos by Friday night at midnight — we need to load them onto YouTube for the masses to watch. If you want to win EB’s praise you can get it by clicking here.

You’ve all been so nice! Thanks for playing our game with us today. We hope to see your videos soon — we could use a good hoot!

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